BonzaiDuck
Lifer
Enough folks may know my story from the last four years. I was single, retired, "dropped-out", living in my Moms' house with my youngest brother. He had been in an "indigent" profession -- culinary work. As soon as he got his big break as a banquet chef in an historic hotel, he was diagnosed with osteo-arthritis and couldn't work anymore. He had already moved in with us. It wasn't but a few years afterward that I discovered that Moms as well as Bro would've had a hard time making ends meet without my money, and I'm grateful -- yes, grateful -- that they needed me and I sustained them. First, Bro died in Jan '22, and then Moms passed in Oct '23. From my experience in the first year, I was fairly confident I could live in this house and meet all my needs on a retirement that was cut short by five years when I accepted a 25-year early out offer. [They wanted to keep me, offering more money. I blew them off.]
I still wonder how I made it through 2024 living here alone. It's a hilltop condominium property, paid for. End of 2024, my cousin or "cousin-in-law" bearing my last name moved in on the offer that she help with housecleaning and pay half the utilities -- calculated monthly to the penny. I told her she could stay here indefinitely, and the subsidy helps. She seems satisfied now, or not inclined to move out of here soon. Where or how would I find someone as trustworthy and reliable as another family member? I can't imagine.
As many here know, I try and walk a mile-per-day. Supposedly it reduces the odds of cognitive decline (dementia). It makes me healthy according to the CDC and NIH. Especially, it keeps me from getting depressed. I knocked out 2 miles today and with my COPD, noticing that I hardly got "out of breath". It was almost a pleasant walk. Not completely, but almost.
I get depressed when I think of all the mistakes of my past life, to include being short on returning my mother's unconditional love and helping my brothers. Our father died when I was nine, and Moms was a champ at bearing the burden of raising three boys while working full time -- with the help of my Grandma.
And I get anxious thinking about the future, as when I might not be able to take care of myself.
Anyone else experience this sort of anxiety? I've set up counseling appointments through the local Senior Center (and thank God for that). Next week, an appointment with a financial counselor also through the senior center.
I've convinced myself that I can't sell this house and find another place. I inherited the Prop 13 tax regime that Moms had. Others in my neighborhood pay well over $5,000 annually in taxes, while my tax bill is about $1,200. If I move to Nevada to be close to my brother and his wife, the altitude will be close to 5,000 feet and not good with my COPD. Then there would be the expense of moving, the troubles of turning over a $600,000 property and finding something less expensive, the energy required to move, the loss of friends and medical care from my clinic which seems to be great. I guess my worst anxiety is that the wealthier folks that live here will raise condo fees to a burdensome level, but there are others here in in my fixed-income situation.
I suppose that if there's something to worry about, I will worry about it. I suppose the ideal retirement is one with no uncertainties about the future, uncertainties about "having enough" -- I'm sure there's more. But like I said, they just raised my digital newspaper subscription by $11/month.
Having my cousin here is fine -- and the difference between night and day compared to living in a house alone. I'm wondering if -- at my age -- I should actively seek to find a companion. E-Harmony, perhaps? Or just making frequent appearances at the Senior Center? Of course, some of those folks really "look" half-past-dead. Met a nice lady the other day named Linda. 70 but hardly looks to be 60. Maybe I can run into her again.
I still wonder how I made it through 2024 living here alone. It's a hilltop condominium property, paid for. End of 2024, my cousin or "cousin-in-law" bearing my last name moved in on the offer that she help with housecleaning and pay half the utilities -- calculated monthly to the penny. I told her she could stay here indefinitely, and the subsidy helps. She seems satisfied now, or not inclined to move out of here soon. Where or how would I find someone as trustworthy and reliable as another family member? I can't imagine.
As many here know, I try and walk a mile-per-day. Supposedly it reduces the odds of cognitive decline (dementia). It makes me healthy according to the CDC and NIH. Especially, it keeps me from getting depressed. I knocked out 2 miles today and with my COPD, noticing that I hardly got "out of breath". It was almost a pleasant walk. Not completely, but almost.
I get depressed when I think of all the mistakes of my past life, to include being short on returning my mother's unconditional love and helping my brothers. Our father died when I was nine, and Moms was a champ at bearing the burden of raising three boys while working full time -- with the help of my Grandma.
And I get anxious thinking about the future, as when I might not be able to take care of myself.
Anyone else experience this sort of anxiety? I've set up counseling appointments through the local Senior Center (and thank God for that). Next week, an appointment with a financial counselor also through the senior center.
I've convinced myself that I can't sell this house and find another place. I inherited the Prop 13 tax regime that Moms had. Others in my neighborhood pay well over $5,000 annually in taxes, while my tax bill is about $1,200. If I move to Nevada to be close to my brother and his wife, the altitude will be close to 5,000 feet and not good with my COPD. Then there would be the expense of moving, the troubles of turning over a $600,000 property and finding something less expensive, the energy required to move, the loss of friends and medical care from my clinic which seems to be great. I guess my worst anxiety is that the wealthier folks that live here will raise condo fees to a burdensome level, but there are others here in in my fixed-income situation.
I suppose that if there's something to worry about, I will worry about it. I suppose the ideal retirement is one with no uncertainties about the future, uncertainties about "having enough" -- I'm sure there's more. But like I said, they just raised my digital newspaper subscription by $11/month.
Having my cousin here is fine -- and the difference between night and day compared to living in a house alone. I'm wondering if -- at my age -- I should actively seek to find a companion. E-Harmony, perhaps? Or just making frequent appearances at the Senior Center? Of course, some of those folks really "look" half-past-dead. Met a nice lady the other day named Linda. 70 but hardly looks to be 60. Maybe I can run into her again.
