Have you ever had that ? The wrong psychic diagnosis. Not being an autist at all, but a mild ADD person.

[William Gaatjes]

Have you ever had that ?

So much going on in your life...
Draining your energy, stressing you out.
And all of a sudden your send to a psychiatrist because of the lies and deceit in your innercircle. this happened in the year 2012.
Drug addicts going crazy around you trying to manipulate you and when you get angry, the police sees you as the dangerous one.
Because of the lies of drug and alcohol using parents as neighbors.
Because you know what they say : People with kids can never be addicts or have psychological issues. Or can they ?

And all of a sudden, you are labeled an autist with aggression, you get medicines that you do not need and that are very bad for your health, dumb you down and make you seem like you had a joint every night.
Giving other people the idea that you always are under influence because you do not connect. Decreasing the chance of getting to meet a nice woman, because even in public or at places to go out, you are labeled.

And almost 7 year later, you find out that you finally get proof that you are not an autist at all. But more or less a mild ADD type person.
A very organised person in normal life. Because being well organised and hygienic makes life easier.

And that you learn that when looking back, you had a major burn-out around 2006 - 2012.
And that taking those medicines have prevented you from doing evening school after work to get more certificates and more diplomas.
To be able to reach for better paying jobs.
That is a lot of disgruntlement.

So all of a sudden since 2019. You decide that it has happened and you are going to move forward.
You do not take medication. You start working out, live healthy. Leave people you have no connection with behind and who only call when they need you to solve technical issues without having to pay you money.
You do not need them. And you know what happens. The gossips starts. The lies and deceit.

In the last 4 years with all the isolation measures from the government in the first 2,5 years :
I lost my mother and i got no other relevant familie that is good for me.
I acquired an auto-immune disease.
Hearing problems, ears not doing weird stuff, but the nerves and the parts of the brain processing sound, this has happened since i contracted covid.
Regular yearly inner ear infections since 2020, i never had ear infections before. I always had extremely good hearing, sniffing out phase differences in various frequency bands , was easy. Homing in on a particular sound in a crowd was always easy.
I got another intervertebral disc hernia pushing against a nerve, while i already have damaged vertebra that inflame easily for 17 years, the reason why i cannot train as hard as i wanted to, even before i got sick around 2020 .
I can use my legs but i am damaging the tissue when i kick or when i lift heavy. Which causes more inflammation.
My health deteriorates and i find out i got long covid.

Lost my job in 2023 after fighting to get healthy since 2020. I have nothing to blame my employer for. No, not at all. I have more anger for the covid-isolation solutions from the government and the lack of support for the hospitals and the lack of support for the general practitioners who got overloaded with patients the last 4 years.
Because the hospital people and the GP got so much in contact with people who contracted corona that certainly they acquired it at the time as well. And other through the air transmissable diseases as well. I am not proud of the Dutch government. Not at all, severly dissapointed i might say.
These days, there is hardly any news about covid on the news while it is still a huge problem even with the vaccination solutions. Because the illnesses are not well defined. There is a lot of actual symptoms variation and prolonged symptoms variation between individual humans when it comes to covid.

New neighbors also with their problems and try to manipulate what of course does not work.
Preventing chronically ill people from getting a good night sleep to heal from their additional sicknes is not social, dear neigbors.
I get angry because they do not listen and the police and the housing corporation blames me.
That is life.

All of a sudden, the nay-sayers about corona, label me as : You must be on drugs.
Great is it not.


Short story :
Not an autist.
Not on medication.
I am a fast learner.
I got some health issues.
But i live healthy generally speaking.
A mild form of ADD.
Still got Long covid. It is like a major burn-out with often head aches, neck cramps, spinal cramps, foggy, sometimes dead tired. Sometimes feeling okay again. Often not being able to sleep. Forgetting stuff i try to learn, forgetting faces, names. Having a wild gaze all of a sudden when i am getting tired but i push through. And so on...
Still not happy living here.
Being labeled as a criminal while i always have worked hard to earn an honest pay.
It is like living in between vampires as a metaphore.

I hate having so low energy. I can push against with will-power, but it is hard to keep focus and concentration , suddenly being dead tired.
Keep focus on what is important.
And if i push against it, i get very easily aggrevated which is not me, i always try to keep calm and analyze the situation.

 

[Muse]

My blanket recommendation for complex lives: incorporate virtually (or actual) daily exercise into your lifestyle. Pretty much as much as possible. Your life is likely to very much improve.

 

[William Gaatjes]

My blanket recommendation for complex lives: incorporate virtually (or actual) daily exercise into your lifestyle. Pretty much as much as possible. Your life is likely to very much improve.

Oh, i fully agree. It is my recommendation too. But the energy is not there.
It is like having the fever symptoms but without the temperature increase. I feel this often, especially in taxing situations. Situations that the stress also rises and i try to stay calm it gets worse.
I tried of course working out. But it was too much, felt too sick after training and the next day.

I do know this :
After working out mildly, i need to rest, or i start to get dizzy, nautious, extremely tired that i just fall asleep directly. Very foggy with thinking , increased sweating, mostly top of my skull and neck only.

It is very irritating. vision do weird stuff, it is like having gaps or drop-outs when using senses at times. Senses like hearing or vision, smelling, tasting. Timekeeping is also F@cked up.
Smelling everything, then smelling nothing. Eyes very sensitive, then normal again. Same for the ears, hearing very sensitive then gone again.
Body feeling like having serious fever for a few hours , then nothing, after like 1 hour of sleep. That feeling that all the body, the skin is tingeling but after an 1 hour of sleep, less or gone until the next episode.

Long covid is very annoying.

 

[Torn Mind]

Have you contacted a disability attorney regarding the COVID? Seems like you'd qualify.

 

[sdifox]

I don't depend on psychics. They are all scammers.

 

[William Gaatjes]

Have you contacted a disability attorney regarding the COVID? Seems like you'd qualify.

The suggestion has been offered to me, but the problem is that i am from then on dependent on wellfare or a special disability care.
And the thought of that alone makes me cringe.

I rather work, be independent. Because it gives me freedom in my choices and it makes sure that i have a healthy decent control over the situation.
Normal behavior. I have always been like that, venturous.

At the moment, i have what is called "the unemployment law" and some benefits. So i am safe with respect to having income.
But it is not what i want. I rather work, but in my line of work, i need to be able to concentrate for prolonged periods of time and keep a lot of variables in the cache AKA short term memory. My short term memory has always been fast and large. But now it feels like having my static RAM replaced by Dynamic RAM but the refresh cycle is not reliable. The timer is not reliable.
It is funny how the short term memory works like traversing a directory tree-list, expanding on demand, depending on the subject.
But these days not so much, losing association often because of being dead-tired all of a sudden..

I got it all figured out in 2020, with regards to future plans :

• Less hours in the workweek but still have a decent pay.
• Find a better place to live.
• Was dating a fine slender sportive woman without children, who was typically a non cigarette smoker and without any psychological disorders. Altough we started at the time during the COVID pandemic we started of good and for me a "gift of heaven" becauseo of both of us having no children. Our earnings together would have allowed her of course also to work less as i could have done then too. ( I was doing so at the time, internet dating sucks. And i am not the person to date 3 women at once. I am not wired that way, i would get names mixed up and would only be interested in one. Which happened of course). Unfortunaltey, the good ol "Some mother's do ave em older" brother with his ex and her new lover ruined my life , right here in Purmerend. And my sickness got worse as time progressed...
• Have time to pursuit , education or just relaxing, spending time in nature or just take courses together when there are mutual interests.

. Everything went south...

I am still going for the future plans.
But i need to get better first.

 

[William Gaatjes]

I don't depend on psychics. They are all scammers.

I would not say they are all scammers but i agree with you.

I believe that often, a physical problem like the resulting damage of an cerebral infection is the root cause when a psychological problem occurs or difference in behavior or something that seems psychological but is actually physical. .
An extreme example is an infection of the adrenal glands with resulting scar tissues or parasite cysts, or when a benign tumor arises in the adrenal glands or somewhere in the brain, the duodenum or the in the pancreas. Causing a change in hormone levels, or signal proteins, peptides or enzymes. Most often in the inactive version of enzymes called zymogens, that is what i highly likely suspect.

Another example is Toxoplasma Gondii, but the brain can be infected also by many bacteria and virea. I recently came aware that although we have the blood/brain barrier, that even the humble cold virus can often cross that barrier, cause local inflammation and unlucky people may continue to have cognitive problems after.
Most of the time, we do not notice it with the exception of being tired and have a bad headache. Our brains are pretty strong but a smart or aggressive invading adversary can corner us.
Unfortunately, it is known that these causes exist but making a good cheap medicine and vaccine against toxo would make a lot of those psych meds unnecessary and that would be good because they often do not work anyway. Those meds are not beneficial for the patients with the issues.
People do not get better. Here in the Netherlands, unfortunately the way of working is to keep humble with meds. But not solving the issues. It is utter bullshit. But cheap for the government so they can throw away good money on stupid moneywaisting ideas.

There are people with real trauma's and for them proper open mind psychologists can be a help. But most suck, they are no more different than that addicted and always ever high and spacing : Sigmund Freud. Their theories are not based on scientific prove but their own rambling ideas.

 

[sdifox]

Psychologist, psychiatrist are real doctors. Psychics are just cold readers.

 

[William Gaatjes]

Psychologist, psychiatrist are real doctors. Psychics are just cold readers.

I agree, but what i am missing and i am using my own experiences and the experiences from a number of people i have spoken to, is that physical examination and thorough tests to rule out infectious diseases and parasites are never performed. Statistical data would arise then when these tests would be performed, making the good work from Robert Sapolsky and many other hard working scientists a lot more easier.
The statistical data would help them to find and prove the real cause of many psychological disorders. And all of this without ever needing to disect a function brain from a human being or other animals.

 

[William Gaatjes]

Let me explain :
If a 100,000 people with depression all carry a toxoplasma gondii parasite infection and have pretty high levels of antibodies. That could mean a causality.

Or for example :
If a 100,000 people with schizophrenia all carry a toxoplasma gondii parasite infection and have pretty high levels of antibodies. That could mean a causality.

Another possibility could be EBV. or syphilis. Both, most people never seem to shed.

Low constant or upflaring cerebral syphilis infection could be an explanation of lowered IQ : encephalitis or meningitis.

Such statistical findings that are also proven would also make the lives of psychologists and psychiatrists easier.
And the lives of patients very soon a lot better after diagnoses and treatment.

 

[Muse]

These days, there is hardly any news about covid on the news while it is still a huge problem even with the vaccination solutions. Because the illnesses are not well defined. There is a lot of actual symptoms variation and prolonged symptoms variation between individual humans when it comes to covid.

It is true, and I have been aware that lack of news does not mean it's gone away. Same with Ukraine. Pardon me for being OT, but the Republicans are holding democracy hostage in order enrich their donors, and they are murderers, hypocrites, soulless scoundrels.

My thread from the other day, are you REALLY SAFE FROM COVID-19???... Think Again!

How Protected Are You Against the Covid Variant JN.1?

Maybe you're among the people that say or think we've moved on from Covid-19. Maybe not. In any case, this article is FOR YOU! This link will get you past the NYT paywall for 14 days, i.e. until March 3, 2024 By all means, read the comments. Included are quite a few harrowing tales from people...

socialtechwork.com

 

[Torn Mind]

The suggestion has been offered to me, but the problem is that i am from then on dependent on wellfare or a special disability care.
And the thought of that alone makes me cringe.

I rather work, be independent. Because it gives me freedom in my choices and it makes sure that i have a healthy decent control over the situation.
Normal behavior. I have always been like that, venturous.

At the moment, i have what is called "the unemployment law" and some benefits. So i am safe with respect to having income.
But it is not what i want. I rather work, but in my line of work, i need to be able to concentrate for prolonged periods of time and keep a lot of variables in the cache AKA short term memory. My short term memory has always been fast and large. But now it feels like having my static RAM replaced by Dynamic RAM but the refresh cycle is not reliable. The timer is not reliable.
It is funny how the short term memory works like traversing a directory tree-list, expanding on demand, depending on the subject.
But these days not so much, losing association often because of being dead-tired all of a sudden..

I got it all figured out in 2020, with regards to future plans :

• Less hours in the workweek but still have a decent pay.
• Find a better place to live.
• Dating a fine slender woman, our earnings together would allow her of course also to work less. ( I was doing so at the time, internet dating sucks. And i am not the person to date 3 women at once. I am not wired that way, i would get names mixed up and would only be interested in one).
• Have time to pursuit , education or just relaxing, spending time in nature or just take courses together when there are mutual interests.

. But everything went south...

I am still going for the future plans.
But i need to get better first.

It's not likely you are immediately going to get it. It's better to be prepared with a point of contact should you ever need to obtain it.

 

[William Gaatjes]

It's not likely you are immediately going to get it. It's better to be prepared with a point of contact should you ever need to obtain it.

I am working on it. That manipulative nutcase uses my Long Covid against me. It is not going to work. And i feel i am being mistaken for somebody else. I am working on it.

 

[pmv]

I agree, but what i am missing and i am using my own experiences and the experiences from a number of people i have spoken to, is that physical examination and thorough tests to rule out infectious diseases and parasites are never performed. Statistical data would arise then when these tests would be performed, making the good work from Robert Sapolsky and many other hard working scientists a lot more easier.
The statistical data would help them to find and prove the real cause of many psychological disorders. And all of this without ever needing to disect a function brain from a human being or other animals.

I agree entirely, though I'd go further than investigations for infectious diseases and parasites. I'd add 'hormonal' and 'neurological' tests as well.

 

[William Gaatjes]

Well, still the same shit. Burn-out or post-covid.
Addicted @sshole neighbours who constantly need attention like some F.... psycho borderliner.
When i get angry, they get paranoid because of the large scale cocaine use and ketamine use and cbd use.
And some dumb ass police officer at my door who always chooses for the addicted neighbours whom can lie better than the devil.
The devil would go in training with them.
I so do want to leave this village and go back to the bigger city.
I hope i will be able to, soon. Go to a big city with higher degrees of education and more people with the same positive view of life like me.
More careers to choose from in my profession.

I am tired of this village, too much gaydamned corruption and no people to trust.
Bigger cities, is more chance at a better job.
The appartments are better, more modern and compared with what is available here, much lower in rent in the bigger cities.
Bad thing is that a weed and alcohol specialist for an older brother is a great way to become part of all kinds of situations i never had to deal with before...
And ruined so many opportunities to make great friends in the ICT world and in the electronic development world.

I sigh every day, looking at the sky...
"Come pick me up ".
Assholes on this planet only want to cheat, bitch about nothing and have war with each other...

So many tried and true solutions for peace and harmony but the Roman Catolic view is true i guess : "Humans are born evil".
That goes a little too far for me...
Or at least born with a tendency to be stupid , i would say....

 

[William Gaatjes]

Well , live has gotten a bit better the last few months. Although i am still not at my cognitive level i used to be, i managed to find a job again, albeit temporary, for sort of a year. And i am working 32 hours in a week.
I am doing my best to get a contract for indefinite time either where i work now or at another company or university. And the hard drugs and alcohol addicted neighbour moved. I now have a weed addicted neighbour who is not able to throw his trash away immediatly . Sigh... Well, it is a lot quieter now in the evening and night.